Jr.

So, Junior year started.
I feel like everyone has changed.
I'm stuck in neutral, and don't really have a best friend anymore.
Wah! this sucks and if you know me in the slightest I hate making new friends!
More than anything! I guess I'm just weird because I have never strived to be
popular, and this is the second time someone has put me on the backburner for
popularity. Maybe things will go back to normal? Or maybe this is just for the best.
Who knows.

Scratch That

I do understand now.
I am stupid for letting you drag me on this rollercoaster for the past 9 months.
I am stupid for expecting anything.
I am stupid for not moving on.
I am stupid for hiding my feelings this long.
I am stupid for falling for you.

As stupid as I say I am. I don't feel like I am the problem in this situation.
I feel like you are being insensitive and are expecting a pat on the bat for
something I am not okay with. I think we are to much alike for our own good.
You have definitely changed. I'm not saying I haven't changed. It's just that
I am stuck in December. And like they say, It can't be Winter forever. :(

Long Since Due

Watching the shows Weeds made me realize that life only gets harder the older you get.
As I was driving home tonight, this realization seemed so unbelievable that it felt almost surreal.
But somehow the love of my life (Mary Louise Parker) always manages to get herself
out the huge mess she was in.

I don't think I put myself in this mess.
Well atleast i wouldn't intentionally throw myself into this.
I am trying to analyze the series of events that have led me to this
point and I am still baffled. How the FUCK did I get here?
I don't understand. Maybe I won't ever understand?
Who knows. I need something to distract me. Like speech.
School can't come any sooner.

"Save me. I'm Lost. Oh lord I have been waiting for you."

"The youth are starting to change. Are you starting to change?"

"I use to believe people could change, like the seasons. But now I know it can't be Winter
forever."

"I took up smoking to impress you. Now you wont email me back and I don't look
so cool anymore."

"You know that night by the lake we spent talking about who we could see me dating?
Well the only person I can see myself dating you."

"Would it be illegal to kill the robbers who stole the video's of my dead fathers voice on them?"

Welp. I have been diggin those quotes for a while now. I wish no one knew about my blog still.
I think I would be more open with what I had to say. I feel like what I write on here is my stuff and its on the internet so obviously anyone can read it if they wish. But sometimes it would be nice to have this private for a few posts.

Shot out to sammi. You are my best friend and I am not just saying this. But I honestly don't know where I would be without you.

Saturday Night Fever

Summerr, Please come!! I want you soo freaking bad. This month is going by surprisingly fast which is really unexpected, but i am definitely a fan! I have not posted in so long. So this weekend was just bleh.

On Friday, I was hosting the dance show which was sooo much fun! then I went to taco bell and caught up with the guys and we played ping pong and it was just a normal night. so that was just meh. Then on Saturday I had to go to Little Shop of Horrors in Queen Creek which was AWFUL! but i am sooo glad Emily came with me she seriously made my night worth living! After that I dropped Em off and went to relay for litterally like 5 min. It was cool. Maybe I am not a fan of this weekend because it didn't really consist of anything that I really wanted to do. Also Fajman wants me to drive back out to the god forsaken school known as perry high AGAIN! please kill me right now! I want to tell him no, but it is like an hour and a half drive from his house soo that would be a really big jack ass move of me. On the other hand though I AINT YOO BITCH. FUCK.

Hi. My bestfriend comes home tonight and i miss her soo much! ILOVEYOUSAMMI!!
vote for her oh and for emily for VP!

See Ya Santa

So this past weekend I said good-bye to my character for the whole year, Santa. I know that sounds really stupid but I did and I am sorta sad. Not only did I say good-bye to him I said good-bye to Mrs. Claus and all my senior speech friends. I am nervous as to how my team and the Arizona circuit will be next year. It will definitely be different. At awards I definitely lost my shit. I don't even know what happened but they announced oratory and I just started crying. I am crazy!

Now that speech is over, I literally have nothing to do. Not that I did a lot this past month in speech but I could atleast go to Domo's room and hang out there. Now, there is nothing for me to do except go home. WEIRD. I am so over school by the way. The weather is changing and getting more hot. My mind thinks that it is summer and I am basically done with school work. Also I hate french. God it is the worst class EVER. I am so dead in that period and everyone is so damn perky, kill me.

Another thing, I am starting to think that everyone in your life is definitely there for a reason.
Random I dont feel like explaining who I feel is the person who made me feel this but yeah.
BYE. sorry for the lamest post ever. I suck.

Epic.

So this past week has been sorta epic. My team won state for the 6th consecutive time. It was so amazing we beat the new AIA rule so we showed Arizona that we kill no matter what. I was also in the humor final. That was crazy. I think if I work I can truly accomplish what i want. Scratch that. I Know I can. On the same note, sorta, Kudos to Lauren Miller for beating the shit out of Ashley Kessler, Whose goal for the year was not to win state, but to beat Lauren Miller at state, GOT EM!! Ahhh such a good weekend! This week started with me procrastinating school work and I can assure you it will end like that. I have checked out of school and student council and I think a lot of people have noticed. Whatever. I feel bad for not caring but I just don't care anymore.

Something I noticed tonight while at the dance show, which I dont know why I was thinking of this at the dance show, is that I wish I could go back to November. I believe that was the Happiest I have been Throughout all of highschool! I dont know why but things just seemed perfect around that time.

On a completely different note, This wind storm is CRAZY. I can't recall the last time the wind has been this strong In Phx. I had to help jumpstart sammis car tonight in the wind and then drop people and things off it was intense. Also the last assembly of the year is tomorrow and it is gonna be out of this world!! it should be really legit!

Inspired

Today I feel like I have been really inspired from some amazing people. I was talking to Sammi tonight and we both agreed that there is seriously nothing more refreshing than to watch someone do what they have a passion for. Whether it maybe someone acting, a lead guitarist or even a teacher doing what they love; It is truly an amazing thing to watch. I really hope my life will revolve around what I am most passionate about. I also hope that it is obvious how passionate I am about what I do.

On another note, I feel like I am growing into my own person. It seems that I am almost done searching for who I am. Not gonna lie, I think it has to do with a desicion that I just recently made. It was a very small desicion, but I think that it shows what kind of person I am and what I want to do with the last two years of my high school career. And I know it sounds like I am giving up but at the same time I am planning on commiting myself to another thing. Ahh well, what a strange day I had. I think it is time for me to start my homework:)

FLOTA!

So I had a really great Wednesday! I was at school for over twelve hours and I wouldn't have had it any other way! I slept in and my best friend picked me up and went to school. I learned that Punnet squares are fun to do. I saw Mrs. Simon in her workout gear... I have a new seat in schmidt's class. I learned that film study was a great choice, so I can catch up on my sleep! Lastly, as much as I hate french and some people in that class I love Mrs. Sanders!! She is so funny and one of those secret bitches. I know she knows I hate french but I believe that she really enjoys me in her class!

As for speech. It was a little unproductive for me. I rewrote my intro for my humor and I think it is quit funny but I am not sure yet. So I am planning on taking two intros to state to see how people react. WOOO! Duo Act was a joke today. We hardly worked which is fine but I really want to do good this week ESPECIALLY in Duo Act. I would love to be in two finals but I dont know there are very good humors. I really just want to kill some Dobson kids. Whatevvs.
Also I feel unnesessarily neglected and belittled. Some people on the team are such elitests and Urk my melon. On a nicer note, I have never laughed so hard ever. At least I dont think than, "Nahh, This is just her flota!" ahhh soo funny! Well Good Night :)

Merp.

Today was not good at all. I was not mentally prepared for school at all. This is gonna sound stupid but I have senioritis like a motha fucka! No Joke!! I didn't do any of my homework at all.
Whatever, I am over school, speech and I am definitely over student council. I seriously hate Kati Taylor. I don't even care if she reads this. She is so selfish and a complete liar. So if that doesnt give you a big enough hint then I will just say it: No more Romeo and Juliet. Boooo.
Whatevs, Like I said, I am over it.

In the meantime, I have state to be excited for:). I will be sad saying goodbye to my duo with
the lovely Sammi Saunders. Good news is that this will not be our only duo! I am really hoping to
Final and be a little more successful than last year at state. But one can only hope.

Also I have not been myself at all today. (see 1st paragraph^^). I Don't even know it is almost like I have been wanting to give up on multiple things. I have also kept to myself all day which is not like me at all. For instance, When I was eating dinner with my family I hardly said anything and they kept asking what was wrong. I don't know what is wrong. I am just bleh. I have a lot on my mind right now and its hard to prioritize everything that I have planned and then to stay on task.

On a much happier note, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is treating me well! I love Harry Potter with a passion, (the series not him). Also if you have nothing to watch on a Monday night at 9 o'clock I strongly suggest turning the T.V onto A&E and watching Intervention. It is sooo good. It is about people dealing with drug and alcohol addictions and how their families deal with it and they come together and try to help the one the love go on to the road to recovery. Its amazing!

wonderful!:)

SO I know I havent posted in over a week. But I have been spending the majority of my spring break doing nothing. Which usually I hate but for the first time I very much enjoyed doing nothing. I feel like I am going into fourth quarter relaxed and prepared. This is technically the beginning of the 2nd half of high school! That is very exciting. Also my sister has came home. I have missed her so much! I am glad that I have a week to spend with her!

Some exciting news is that I have recently become re-obsessed with The Harry Potter series:D.
I am on the 6th one and realized that her writting has developed so much from the first one. It is so much more indepth and more enjoyable to read! I also saw the trailer for this movie and literally CREAMED my pants. Ok I didn't actually cream my pants but I nearly died of excitement. Ahhh you forget how amazing the books are until you read them again.

Also State for speech is coming up and I am soo excited! I am really only excited for duo act! I know it is not that successful but it is so much fun preforming with my best friend! At the Mesa tournament we were in a semi round and we were in hysterics becauase this guy ate shit. It was the funniest thing to happen in a round, Including a man running out of a humor round. Also the Seniors are gonna give their speeches and I think i just might loose it. State speeches are the saddest things ever. Plus, I am so close to all of them! ahhh this next weekend will for sure be an adventure.

Side Note: If you are planning on seeing Last House on the Left DONT. I'll save you 2 hours. You see a girl get raped. You see the most graphic images ever. A man gets his hand shoved down a garbage disposal and since that wasn't enough to kill him they decide that they should through a hammer through his head. Oh and the movies has a spectacular ending with a man getting his head microwaved. (note sarcasm). It was the worst movie I think I have ever seen. I left the movie feeling guilty that I watched a woman get raped. AWFUL!

Well I wish everyone an amazing last night of break and a good fourth quarter! Fourth quarter is always so hard.

Horoscope

Ok so somedays I like to check my Horoscope and today was one of those days. Now today didn't really match up, But yesterdays really did and I decided to look at tomorrows and It made me nervous, "You’ll be in the mood for a nice, slow, easy-going day; unfortunately that’s unlikely to happen. Thanks to somber influences this could be a day where it feels as though nothing is going your way, but the reality will be far less serious, although a minor issue in your personal life may need to be resolved!" Ruhh Rohhh! Things dont look like they will go my way tomorrow that sucks. Also Hello confusion! I am so confused about what I want I hope that something happens
to help me be unconfused, If that makes sense? Oh well I am kinda only posting to procrastinate Me memorizing my presentation. So I hoped you enjoyed my Horoscope and I advise you to take a gander at yours as well, you might be surprised.

Hammer Time

I am ready to let loose! Like seriously Buckwild. I am so fucking excited for spring break!
I am hoping that this past weekend will be a preview as to how Spring Break will be! Ahhhh I
am seriously so sick of school! It is quite unbelievable. Today went by semi-fast. I just hope that
It percedes for the whole week! I also have an enormous amount of homework and two huge tests to study for tonight so that is pretty lame and on top of that I need to memorize for my
speech I feel really behind on that shit! Ruh Rohh. As you can see I have become quite the king
of procrastination! And it will only get so much worse next quarter. For example I payed this girl to write a few of my essays last year for fourth quarter, I got caught cheating in the math dept., and I got a B in P.E. WOWWW. Hahah I can only wait to see what I do this year! Well I need to work Soo peace!:)

Ayoo

I can already tell that this week is going to be so long. There is seriously nothing I want more
than for spring break to come. Ahhh I am completely over Sophomore year and Fourth quarter I know is going to totally drag on. Someone please just make these next few months go by fast!
I have slacked so much. I am not even joking I am pretty sure that I do not have one A in any
of my classes, including film study! You watch films all period! FUCK MY LIFE!! speaking of, This recently discovered website is by far the funniest thing I have read in the longest time! Ahh it was such a good find!

I have also decided that I really have no clue what I want:/ I am bored. This makes me sad.
On the other hand I have found THE perfect way to ask Paige to Prom! It is still in subject to change but I think it is the best I can think of and it isnt what I said I was going to do earlier today. Soo yeah. I feel gross so I think I am gonna go sleep!:)

MARCH!:)

Ok so Happy March to everyone who loves the start of a new month:)
Seriously the start of a new month makes me feel so refreshed nothing is better to me!
Well since I have not posted in a while I sorta have a lot to talk about.
So I started this weekend with a Date with the very beautiful Kelsey. It was so enjoyable!
We went to Charlestons and then Coffee Rush! What date Isn't good with Coffee Rush?
That place seriously has the best coffee in the world! It makes Starbucks look like shit.
Then I took her home. I am curious if anything more will happen. Whatever happens happens
I think I will be fine with either. I dont know if that is bad but I definitely would not mind
a relationship but if nothing happens then I guess that is ok.:)

Yesterday was very fun! It started off with me waking up at like 1030ish and then I got a
Meatball Marinara from Subway. I heart 5 dollar foot-longs <3! They seriously make me so happy! I then went over to my Aunts house and had a really nice discussion with her and then
I babysat the kiddies for a few hours, AKA played Mario Kart for two hours. I even scored 20 dollas! then I came home and chilled for an hour or two and left for the evening. I went to Goodwill, Barros, Brandons, Tennis courts, and finally Blackwells. Blackwells was seriously
out of fucking control! I had to go to the bathroom and I made a wrong turn into this vacant room and saw people having sex! It was sooo awkward! That was the most excitement I had all weekend. Pretty crazy!

Today was so freakin enjoyable! I seriously love sundays so much! I had a major craving for donuts, so I went to Bashas to get the best donuts ever. Then I got some coffee and went over
Sammi's and we had a gameday. Sammi, Emily, Casey and I played scatergories, Or as Emily likes to call it "SCATERWHORIES!!" haha. Then we watched this chick get punched so hard
in the jaw twice on Wiped Out. Then I took Emily home and we got some Now and Laters. After that I had to watch my cousins again so I got a Meatball Marinara again for dinner, I am soo obsessed! Ahaha and we played Mario Kart all night! It was so much fun!

Some personal thoughts i have had lately are: Last night I had a really weird dream that sparked my interest in something. It was really weird. I wish my blog was still privatized so I
could say what I wanted but oh well. Also! This is the last week of the third quarter and it cannot come soon enough!! I am seriously soo fucking sick of school! It is quite ridiculous, this break is well needed. I am also really missing my sister right now. I havent seen her since early January which doesnt sound that long, but it really is we are so close and it is so hard! I cant wait for her to come home! I just wish we had the same Spring Break. I am also strongly considering saving my money for a Wii. I want Mario Kart soo badly it is the funnest game I have played in a while!
Another thing is that someone told me something today that made me feel weird. I don't know what to do in this type of situation. I feel like it is definitely my fault but mehh I don't even know.:( I realized how close I have become to my team and when this year ends I will seriously be so lost. Not even joking they have sort of become my family and I look up to the seniors so much that I will really have no one to look up to when they are gone. It will be a really hard transition for me. At least I have the best couple of friends still with me in Speech:) That I thank them for:)

Well I am sorry that I am throwing all of these mixed emotions/thoughts at you, but it has been a while since my last post and so much has been going on!! Well good luck on the last week of
school, I think everyone needs it>:/

Never Say Never.

So I wasnt going to post cause I am just so out of the mood but then I realized i had
comments on my blog and it made me want to post so here is a little update on me:

I have recently come down with the plague. Hahah just kidding except not really at all.
I had to go to the ER on Saturday morning and they were gonna test me for spinal
meningitis (they wanted to do a spinal tap). But instead they just did a cotton suave to
see if I would diagnose under anything else. I was diagnosed with Pharyngitis, it is an infection
of the pharynx and it hurts like hell. They gave me vicadyn for the pain and I would be gone
without it. hahah no joke. The biggest bummer of the weekend was cancelling my date I was
seriously devistated. I wanted to go out anyway but that would not be a good idea cause
I would probably get my date sick. Then she wouldn't be so hott. HAHA just kidding she is always beautiful:). I went to school today to drop of my mega research paper which was relieving but it made me realize that I was not ready for school today at all. I probably would
have punched someone cause I had no patience today. Also I got to see my best friend today! since we are both on our death bed I decided buy us both jamba juices and my mom baked
our favorite cookies! So i of course gave her some! Overall today was a semi-relaxing day. I am not ready for tomorrow especially since I have to take a test determining if I graduate or not. hahah cool. NOT. Well it is time for me to drift off into a slumber. GOOD NIGHT:)

K So,

I know it is really weird. But ever since ASU I have been constantly been nervous
for nat quals. I know the entry but I have absolutely NO IDEA who will qual. Like
seriously absolutely no idea. Ideally it would be all DV teams in duo but still one team from
our school will be left out. But then there is the birds from Dobson. i think they are the only
ones who actually have a chance at qualing from another school. I HATE DOBSON. they
bother me so much. ahh ok I am done with this little rant, but I am still very nervous.

Today was really boring. This whole week has been really boring actually, all it has consisted
of is work and work only. I am glad it is friday but i have to stay home for the majority of the night. I cannot wait for tomorrow! It is going to be so much fun!!:)

And Hello Emily and welcome to my blog! Thanks for bein a cr33p!

Fresh Start

I decided the beginning of a relationship is the best. Both of you are trying to constantly
impress eachother and it makes things so much fun! I really hope this works out.
I have really good feelings about you and I cant wait for Saturday. It will be EPIC.
Ahhhh I am so happy!

Hello Reality.

So this weekend was quite the adventure. It started of me puking on eight or
so people and basically becoming a legend. I haven't decided if this is a good
thing or bad thing, but secretly I am a little proud of this. DONT JUDGE.
The competition was great i made it to octafinals i feel like Me and Kati would
have done well in quarters and deserved to break over someone else in
that round but I am not complaining at all cause I think everything happened
for a reason. Alas i got to see my best friend and that was soo refreshing! I love her
so much. Hopefully i will see her soon and spend more time with her. Also Epic Fail
with mystic Rosa this weekend. She was no where to be found and that was saddening.

Now that I am unfortunately back to reality I have to deal with the stress of the school
and to be honest I am so sick of everything. I have to go in early to make up a video guide?
That is probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Also this research paper in Mrs. Foors
class is so frustrating. We have to make a speech on only an outline? That doesnt make sense
at all because an outline does not flow smoothly. she is bothering me right now. Also I have
chosen to procrastinate a whole lot today so the mountainous amount of homework i will
do after I am done with this will be very overwhelming. To be honest I would give
everything to just drop out of school and compete for speech. I have never loved
anything more than performing. I know that I may not be the best at it but I am really
going to start taking things seriously so people will start to realize me. Well enough for
now I really must work.

Acomplished

Today was very good! Well not really, but I am in such good mood that this boring ass
day turned into a day of acomplishments!:) I am officially done with schmidts project and
that is a major plus. Mrs. Simon disclosed to me that she will not be here next Wednesday,
AKA I dont have to do my homeowork tonight and I and even managed to write a thesis
and my first prong for the research paper! Ahh i seriously feel so good right now! I cannot
wait to get on to the plane tomorrow and just watch Its always sunny in Philadelphia!
Sidenote: I was in film study today and i layed down on a couch and fell asleep. I was in a
deep sleep and the movie woke me up at one point and I was seriously soo freaked out I
thought it was tomorrow morning and I overslept. It was so weird and scary!!
Also i ended my school day with a coaching session for my humor and it was so enjoyable!
I am seriously bipolar when it come to preforming my humor. The reason why I dont like
Humor very much is becuase you HAVE to depend on laughs and it is soo embarassing when you
dont get them. I really want to rock a drama next year. But as for now I must get some much needed rest!

yooo

Ok soooo today.... Hmm, I dont know how to explain today. It was in some parts good, other
parts it was awful! I Have never been so angry before. I seriously was shaking and tears
were forcibly coming out I did not understand it at all. It was seriously horrible. I am still
so mad at the situation but I would like to think that this, like everything else, will soon
enough be sorted out. I just so didn't need this extra bit of stress. MEHH! Apart from all
this nonsense today was not that bad. French for the first time in months was somewhat
enjoyable. So that was good and my dad took me out to dinner and that was really good!
I just really cant wait to get out of the AZ ahhh Boston has so much more to offer me this
weekend!

Accomplishment

So I finished the essay for schmidt that was due on wednesday! EXCITING!
ahhh now all i have for her is to do that poster board. Also I feel like I am going
to vomit. My stomach is out of control right now! ahh I cannot throw up!:(
goooood night!!:/

So Apparently

My Teachers have congregated together and decided to make this week a big ol' heap
of hell for me! I really do not think i have ever had this much homework assigned to
me EVER. Ahhh talk about horrible timing. Apart from the collosal amount of homework
I have today was actually a really enjoyable day. There is really not a better feeling than
feeling acomplished and I know I still have a lot of work to do but i was so productive
school wise today. Speech on the other hand.. Not so much. I really need to get this shit
done for Harvard, I really would love to succeed, but I don't know if I will manage.
Nothing is really ready and I can't really imagine it getting much better in the next day or two.

On a Lighter note... ONLY 3 DAYS TILL I SEE MY BEST FRIEND!!!
ahh cannot wait!:)))

Sometimes,

In life you are going to have to do things you do not want to do.
Face the facts! Who cares we all have to suck things up and commit ourselves
to certain organizations. Whatever, I can't make you do something you really
dont want to do. But at the same time you committed. Today, was not so good.
I was mad at everyone, and no one was being nice at all. I think everyone was
in a bad mood today. Oh well, At least tomorrow is a Friday! I love the weekend so
much and i cannot wait for next week to come!

So I decided that I am going to try to get ahead on my homework this week. I will be
gone basically a lot for the rest of the month and I just dont want to be too stressed
this upcoming week, even though that will be inevitable.

Off to drift away into a slumber while watching the Office:).
Sorry for the boringest post ever. Oh and the talent show rankings were not good!!

Basically

I am exhausted and this whole "homework" thing is kinda urkin my melon.
So I think I am just not gonna do it! hah what is new. I feel like I should
cause I have B's in all of my classes, that is not cool. At the same time, what
fuck ever. I dont care as long as I am passing. although I know I will regret it
if my GPA goes down! AHH school, I hate it!

Sorry for the most unconventional post ever. But to make things better,
the countdown is no longer in double-digits!!! Only 9 days until I get
to see my best friend!! ahh cannot wait!!:)

Ruh Roh

So I am not feelin to fly today! I think I might be getting the flu, But who knows?
This is exactly what happened last year. I was puking the whole way to Harvard
then i ate some Overpriced, small proportioned cup of soup and i was magically
better! Good news is that i dont have to go to Central! HELL YES. I need a break.
As much as I want to completely indulge my life in speech I know I can't. Today
was good! I got a B on my math test which i thought i did better on, but I'm not
Complaining. I thoroughly enjoyed Schmidt's class, same with Mrs. Foor's class.
Lunch makes me want to kill myself because i hate being controlled by a certain
someone. Also! Mike Watson and I Managed to win 1 Million dollars on my phone!
soo epic! I ended my school day by laughing my arse off with some of my great
friends! ahhh speech I cannot wait for Harvard!!:) I feel like there is so much work
to be done but I have no idea how it will all get done to acomplish my goals!

On a Happier note, I love Sammi Saunders! We are basically best friends, and we will
be forever! I swear if she quit speech I think i would too. Same with student council.
Woahh that would be soo weird! I cannot imagine either without her we are basically a
package deal! Oh best friends! I am so glad I have the perfect one!:)

Also, Here are lyrics from Starlight by Muse:


My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

But I'll never let you go
If you promised not to fade away
Never fade away

I LOVE IT.

O,

O, Today...
Ok so I am a Sophomore and I feel like I have gotten everything
I could of high school. Except not really at all. Maybe this year though.
I dont know, everything is soo easy and I am not motivated at all.
so I have all B's. LAME. Also I hate people in our grade. They are soo
Immature. Whatever. I just have a huge problem with people in general
at the moment. The only people I dont mind right now are my good friends
and most speech people. ahhhh! Im annoyed. I hate people.

Also Cards lost.... I dont want to talk about it.
It was a good game though.

I just want Valentines day to come so I can get the FUCK our of here!
ahhh only 11 days!!:)

Well, Homework awaits me.:/ shooot me.

SuperBowl Sunday!

Today Arizona is in the Superbowl!!
I am excited and cannot wait to go to Sammi's house tonight!
Today has been very eventful I woke up and ate some linguisa,
which by the way is the best. I then went to starbucks and
satisfied my coffee urge and picked up the usual from Safeway
(10 pound bag of Flour). After that I talked to my sister for a good
half hour and played Who Wants To Be A Millionaire with my mom
for an hour and we were cussing and getting way to into. SICK LIFE!
While all this was going on I was pyrating season five of The Office.
I already watched an episode and it was funny as hell!
So today is a really good day! I need to get my homework done soon
though so I dont have to worry about it tonight.

Shifting gears over to yesterday, Kati, Ryan and I completely blocked
the new duo. It is sooo sick there is so much tech and i cannot wait to
make it clean and put our characters into it! Kati's Juliet character got
so much funnier. Ahhh thats actually I could think about yesterday and
today! It will definitely be superfly!

Also, Ever since i did the "25 things" Survey I have thought of more things
I should have put in, Like:
-I was an Alter server for three years. I quit at the end of eighth grade
and during the summer i walked back into the sachristy and (sp)
Fr. Horman, A.K.A satan, literally pushed me out and told me to stay out.
- I sure do vent a lot but i keep a lot more in than i do vent.
- I have sent in postsecrets and dearoldloves and everytime I go to their
website I get really excited and think, "maybe they posted mine!!" but
none of mine have ever been posted on either sites.
- I have the most unrealistic scary dreams but while I am dreaming
there is nothing more realistic to me.
- "Every time I describe you, I hate the person I’m talking about.
But every time you’re within touching distance, I’m painfully enamored."
I know exactly what this means.
- I respect elders just as much as other people. I dont feel like they deserve
more respect.
- I think teaching would be such an amazing job, but i know I am not made
out for that job.
- I wish i could get a job but there is no way in the world i could fit that
into my schedule.

Alright well thats enough for now! I really need to start homework!!

25 Things You Probably Knew Already

So since everyone is doing this little servey thing I might as well try.
So here is 25 Random thing about my life that you may or may not
have known.

1. My best friend in the whole world is my sister! I am not just saying that
either cause i have too we seriously have so much fun together and we are
true best friends.

2. My Two biggest fears in the whole world is Deep open water and Lonliness.

3. I recently discovered my fear of being a lone after watching the movie
I Am Legend. That Movie was terrifying to me. I would literally go insane
if i was the last person on the Planet.

4. I feel like the only thing I am remotely talented at is theatre.

5. I am a sucker for sweet talk. I have been played a few times to many
somtimes it was by the same girl.

6. This year i have realized my love for Literature and History I have really
teachers in both subjects and they make me enjoy their very long classes.

7. I would like to think of myself as very level-headed.

8. I recently read the book Tuesdays With Morrie and it was probably THE
best book I have ever read. It was also the first book to make me
legitamently cry, INCLUDING HARRY POTTER!

9. While on the topic, I have never been more captivated my a series
than i have with Harry Potter. I can read those books over and over
agian and i wont get tired of them.

10. My 8th grade English teacher still remains my favorite teacher and most
inspirational person in my life.

11. I feel like the teachers in middle school cared so much more about me
compared to my teachers in high school. I wish it was reversed because
high school is what actually means more.

12. I found out that this blog is probably the best way i could possibly
relieve any anger or stress.

13. I am addicted to Burts Bees Wax and Coffee.

14. Chipotle is the best America-Mexican Food i have ever had.

15. I have traveled all over Europe and North America and I wish to visit
other countries.

16. I have the most impractical dream ever of becoming a professional actor
but i feel nothing else in the world would make me happier.

17. I seriously am clueless as to what I am going to do when the Seniors
graduate i know i will be heartbroken but I have no idea how i will be
able to manage without them always here.

18. Adventures make my life thrilling. They also make tons of adrenaline
rush through my veins. (ok britney spears).

19. I remember tubing at a lake last summer holding on to dear life because
i am that afraid of water.

20. My favorite memories ever come from Remsen, Iowa and Omaha,
Nebraska.

21. I think that foreign languages are soo cool but at the same time they
are a complete wast of my time.

22. I have no idea in the world where i would like to go to college.

23. I have a brother who died.

24. 8th grade was so far the best year of my life but I think that will
end soon.

25. My friends are what keep me going. I have slowly started to realize who
my true friends are and i am able to understand which friends i should
invest most of my time in.

14 days!

Ok so it is exactly 2 weeks from today that my life will be AMAZING.
1. I get to see my best friend ever in the whole world!! I miss you so
much i cannot wait till we get to have adventures in your homeland!!
2. I overall just love Harvard. This time I really feel like i can
accomplish my goals! so i am just soo amped up!! AHHH! i cannot
wait!!

I am already getting the vibe that this weekend is gonna be mellow.
that kinda sucks. We will see though i just want to have fun! Because
this is basically my last social weekend until the end of February so
I want to live it up!

Also if you are in the mood to watch something amazing click here http://vimeo.com/3009758
this is why I do speech. It is the most amazing duo I have ever seen!!

SICCKK LIFE:)

Also

Please ignore the drastic difference of emotions between the
last two posts. Yesterday was obviously awful and today
was the complete opposite. hhahah

On another note this blog has just gotten a little more
public. ruhh rohh. Lets see how this goes.:)
Yayyy weekend tomorrow!

P.S I LOVE YOU SAMMI SAUNDERS!
you are my best friends ever!

The Storm has Receded

So basically the drama is finally setteled.
I went to practice happy and not stressed for the first time in weeks.
I know i was originally not happy with the coaches desicion but
so far so good. Kati has been trying so hard and it really showed
today. We were both joking and laughing and having a lot of fun
while legitamentally getting some work done. It was really
refreshing. I still stand strong by what i originally said though,
but i dont think this will be bad at all. Also, I am her friend i am just
better friends with lauren and I dont know how to tell you to keep
me out of this but i really dont want any part of the fight between you
to so I am just ignoring anything you have to say about her! lets hope
it works! ahhhh overall just a really good speech day!

As for school, I got most of my teachers to sign my schedule.
I really hate French. I love the people, I love Mrs. Sanders
but it just is not for me at all. i had a C before I turned in my Euro.
Now I have a very low B. I do NOT want to get a C in this god forsaken
waste of my time class. There is just nothing to motivate me at all!
I think this week is just soo boring in every class. It is almost like
all the teachers got together and made their classes more boring
to piss everyone off! What ever, I am just stoked for the weeked!

Also i fell sorry for Sammi. There seems to be a little bit of a
controversy on her blog. People just dont understand what
we have to go through. She definitely has more on her plate
than I do but I can definitely relate most. People just need to
grow up!

Peace, I need a good night sleep
before this crazy weekend!
except this weekend is probs gonna be really boring... NIGHT!

You Know What!

I got fucked over hard core.
You are the most manipulative Bitch I have EVER met.
You just manipulate everyone so you can get what you want!
and I fell for it again for the LAST time ever. I promise.
You have ruined this semester for me in speech and now it is
time for me to get what i truly deserve. I dont want to be your
friend I am going to use you just like you used me. All I was last
semester was your tool, now you are nothing less that a broom
that I will be using to sweep up the bad talent at harvard. Mark
my words, I am not doing this in any way of a pity for you because
1. I hate you. 2. This is not my decision and it is completely forced
on me. 3. I will have succeeded with or with out you with this duo.
Yeah I am stuck with you so it is just gonna be harder but it will be
even better saying how much you fucked this up and how hard it was
for me to pull off.

If you are reading this, it is quite blunt who this is about.
Ignore my cocky attitude. But lets be real here,
I and a few other people dont deserve the position we were
put into. I'm gonna do this 10x better than you. I'll prove you.
Just watch.

Drama

Ok, so over the course of the past... 24 hours i have
been through sooo much!! First I dealt with the Drama
of Saturday night which still is A really great night to me.
Anyways, people are NOT happy about what went down...
Well that is obvious. After that I went to Native with Sammi
and I talked to probably the most indecisive person everr!
He would not give us any info on fundraising. Thanks Douche!
Next I went to speech where I got into an hour and a half long
fight! Soo dramatic! This bitch can seriously manipulate anyone!
This is what she is trying to do to get back in this duo and the
only person that her amazing skills did not work on is me!
It just pisses me off! Fuck take fucking hint! I dont like you!
If one of us doesnt like eachother than how can we succesfully
work together? The answer is, It's Impossible! It is not going to
work niether of us have the tenacity or talent to pretend we like
eachother and still produce a good duo. I dont understand how you
cant comprehend this? Haha? Well anyway I came home all riled up
and I wasn't capable to do my homework. I started it around 8 o'clock.

I have recently discovered that not only is 2nd semester the worst,
but it I am almost incapable when it comes to staying on task.
I am just so unmotivated. I think the teachers plan to make
everything so boring that no one wants to do anything, is it just me?
For instance i left like 4 or 5 problems blank on my math homework,
I didn't even pick up the make up work i was supposed to have done
for english, and when it came time to study for the Japan test in world
history i choose to steal a shopping cart with Lauren Miller and then
throw it in Sammi's yard, this was at 9:30 last night! What am I thinking?
Well I just need to start getting more on task. My slack is greatly showing.
I totally bombed the french test I took yesterday, I got a B on my notebook
check in Bio, my English teacher talked to my class about how all of our
grades are slipping. So, I have decided to make an oath. i will write
all of the shit I need to get done that night and i must complete all of it.
If i dont then I have to turn down a Starbucks run. Ok so this is the gayest
idea EVER. But I seriously need to get my shit done. PERIOD.

This Weekend!

Ok, so this weekend was the craziest weekend EVER.
Lets break this down day by day.

On Friday i went over to brandons and chilled.
We started off by lighting off fireworks!
I then decide to light one and as I'm
running away and i fall! I look back and see
a bushel that has caught fire! My friends run away,
and i am left to stomp the fire out! After this we witness
a robbery at safeway, then I see all these firetrucks
and I am sitting in my truck, zach is in the veto position
in the back panicking that we are gonna get pulled over for
having him there and then they pull up next to us..
and take a left to the foothills...
About a moment of relief until I realize that they are going to
Brandons neighborhood! I am stuck with fear realizing
I started the fire, turns out I didnt!:)
HA so I am not the felon you were hoping for.
We then went to the DV park and ice blocked down the hills.
This has to be the white trashiest thing ever.
I then ended the evening with deep discussions at DQ.

Saturday- I woke up and went to speech which was sooo
eventful!:) For starters I know I did something bad and
selfish so I could get ahead, but hey I believe it will
be worth it.:) I dont think it is bad its just that I needed
to do something for myself and I wasnt getting anything
done with the way things were going. I basically dropped Kati
as my duo partner, and I now have lauren!
This is really for the better, Kati wasnt commited.
It was simple as that!

As for the evening i started off at Courtney's Party.
She just turned 16 and it was so nice catching
up with old friends! About halfway through the party
Peter and I left to go to Erin Desoto's shindig.
which was OFF THE CHAIN! It was soo much fun!
I left at like 11 and at 11:17 the cops came! I have never
been so lucky to have an early curfew ever! I was completely
sober so it wouldnt have mattered if i got caught but all of
my friends got MIC's I felt sooo bad! I wish I could do something
for them! There was nothing much else to this eventful night!

Today is soo enjoyable! I woke up at around 9:30 and
had a nice talk with my parents! Then I was craving starbucks
So I called up Sammi and Lauren and we went there at 10:45.
Sammi left at like 11:15 and Lauren and I just talked about
life and relationship problems and hook ups! It was seriously
the most ideal sunday morning. AHH I love live!
This weekend was soo epic and im unbelievably thankful
for my parents and how i am safe!:)

Today.

Today, I experienced the most humiliating thing of my life!
I'm not exagerating either, it was the worst!
I dont really feel like going into it because i have
gone over that moment to many times today!

Today, I realized how great my friends are!
Paige Jenny and Mike made me feel
soo much better i would probably still be a wrek without them.
Also my parents have done the best jobs cheering me up
these past two days! I really appreciate everything they do for me!

Today, I experienced the 4th lunch for the first time ever!
I liked eating that early but at the same time I hated
how I had three classes after, it made the day so much longer!

Today, I have no idea what I'm doing! Hopefully something
adventurous! I am so in the mood for an amazing time!
Lets make this happen! :)

Peter Francis Olmanson

My brother was born on this glorious day!
I know what you're thinking,
and the answer is, Yes. I do have a brother.
He died a month after he was born.
I never tell anyone this because i dont
feel it is necessary. I mean i dont want
anyone feeling sorry for me because
it really isn't a big deal. I was the only one in
the family not to have known him which is
the only thing that truly bothers me.

It was so weird, this was the first time
i have ever forgotten his birthday.
When i got home my mom was talking to
my sister and they were talking about it.
I usually call my mom to cheer her up
because this is a really hard day for her.
So i felt so bad when i failed to remember
this morning.

But anyways, I wish you the best birthday bro!
i hope that heaven is treating you nicely:).

Summer Time!

Ok so i know it is the middle of January but it is like 80
Degrees and as the windows are down in my car i
Catch drafts of summer and it makes me so happy.
I want it to come so bad!
This summer is seriously gonna be so sick! Me
and all of my friends are gonna have our license
And it will make everything just so much more fun! I also
hate 2nd semester so much. I am soo unmotivated that its
unbelievable! It only gets worse as fourth quarter
approaches. Ahhh I cannot wait for summer!!:)

Lonely

Today i realized how lonely i am.
so i kinda like this one girl butttt there is no way in hell
that anything would happen because she is madly in love with her
boyfriend and i think i had a chance with her but i totally lost
it and i still feel like we have that chemistry and i think the word would
be passion between us but her friends have told me that i should just
forget about it. but is it so weird that i cant? i have never had feelings
like this for someone else so i mean i know what the right thing to do is.
which be to back off but there is something about her that keeps drawing me in.
and i mean if she was so in love with her boyfriend then she should be the one
to stop this nonsense. i feel like i am being played so hard yet i cant stop falling
for the same trick. i know this sounds like a stupid suggestion but i need some
sort of rebound from this to get my mind off of her because im not doing anything
good for my self by waiting for her.

So that is what has basically been going on through my mind for the past month!
this really needs to stop i just feel as if im being used as a boyfriend
figure and i dont get any of the perks. LAMEEEEEE! ahhh you have no
idea how infurriated i am about this topic. alsooo this is a very stickky situation.

On a lighter note i owned auditions today for night must fall.
and i am still stuck between wanting to do it and not.
and if i dont make it whatever, but i wont lie i will be a little
surprised. i feel like i deserved it today.
and im not trying to be an arrogant cocky dick.
i really owned ass.
but if i dont get picked it will most likely be because of seniority.

Procrastination

Ok so I know I am knew to this whole blogging thing,
but it is really addicting to the point of me not wanting to do my homework.
alright well im just using it as an excuse but i realized that 2nd semester
is the worst i procrastinate my ass off and expect the best.
i need to end this!! also i wonder how long it will take for someone to find
my blog. hah i will start counting. ok but seriously im done for today.

Night Must Fall

I am currently auditioning for the dramatic play Night Must Fall.
im kinda at a moo point looking into this production.
i would love to make it in, but at the same time i need to
get my priorities straight and if i am casted it most likely wont happen.
i also dont want to be a two liner in it becuase frankly that is a complete
waste of my time. so either put me in as a real character or
dont cast but i have a feeling as much as i dont want to be in the show,
i will be a little heart broken.
aldfhs'dfjhs
someone just take my mind off of this.

For Starters

I should probably give you a 3 month update in which direction my life has headed.
Ok so it basically starts in November when i went to glenbrooks
and i double broke! that was so much fun and
i have countless hilarious stories from that trip.
my sister came home for thanksgiving.
not gonna lie that was a really moderate thanksgiving.
it was at my house for a change and of course my irish uncle
was drunk as fuck, what new? and then we will move on a week later
and that will bring me to winter trophy. i took pfd for the
first time and i got third, who would of thought?
and me and my best friends sammi saunders whooped some
ass in our awesome duo! :) we both got fourth for the first times in our lives,
it was pretty epic. during this tournament week we
helped underprivilaged kids celebrate christmas but that
was kind of an epic fail since the theme was "Going Green."
lets be honest here, kids arent gonna have fun watching
you create a santa out of a toilet paper.
The next big event that occured was the Fullerton tournament.
alright this is was probably the best/worst thing ever.
i cant even describe it, i basically fell head over heals for someone
didnt do anything and lost my chance... thats all i will say on that note. (for now)
i also bombed at the tournament, i didnt break at all but the food made up for it.
on the last day of this trip we all went to disney land! SO MUCH FUN!!
i love disneyland! concluding my disney dream vacation was me getting sick.
It was the worst i have ever been, i got bronchitis, a sinus infection and a lung infection.
nott so fun! plus i had to get breathing treatments like every four hours.
Moving on to Christmas, well it was just christmas nothing to special.
EXCEPT my uncle got engaged which means there is a wedding in the near future!
new years this year was SO much fun!! i went to hannah sagers then to sammis! and i got
double teamed by the two lovely girls known as emily and lauren!
i said i dont agree with resolutions but secretly i have one, it is to be more forward and
aggressive with what i want, and that is yet to still be achieved.
also that night i called someone and said something completely stupid to someone
but to my amazement she was fine with it.
hey isnt it funny how you work hard on something and it doesnt pay off and then something you have totally neglected for a while succeeds, yeah well that happened to me.
ASU was one major stomach ache/blur. it was seriously so weird this year.
for starters it felt like i had fish hooks in my stomach the whole first day
and next i actually broke. and it wasnt even by accident. i was one point away
from being in the Duo Interp finals. and i spent kind of a lot of time on my humor and poetry.
kind of a bummer but im not complaining.
finally this last week a little weird for me. and i know what i am about to say is going
to sound pretty cocky but i went into the musical thinking i will have a part.
and i made call backs and was like DUH. i owned the first day
then i came home feeling stupid and thinking, "fuck, i will probably make onle ensemble."
and i was dissapointed but when i went to checked the postings of the cast list iwasnt on there at all. and i know i sounds soooo stupid but this was the first time i have ever not made a production. i guess it was good thing thought i needed a kick in the ass. it was really a humbling and new experience for me.

this past weeked was a three-day weekend and it was much needed.
i started the weekend off by going to native to watch the suns game. EPCI FAIL.
im soo dissapointed in the suns this season. i think the new coach should be fired.
then i hung out with the lovely kelsea on saturday and we hit up chipoot.
and i had an epic four square tournament!
and on saturday i played poker with the guys and ended the evening with some
funny moments with brandon. oh and GOOO CARDINALS!!
who would have thought that the cardinals would have made it to a superbowl?
haha and i got a new phone that was a pretty nice way to nd the weekend!

ok sorry for the longest post ever but it was necessary for you to keep track on where i stand right now!:)

So

I broke! and not the speech kind of break.
I mean i broke down from peer pressure into making a blog.
Everyone else was doing it so why not?
Let me just start off by saying i truly have the best friends ever.
Now being a Sophomore in high school i have come to realize who
the best people in my life are and who arent, and i have slowly drifted
from the people who arent important.
its kinda weird thinking of being an eighth grader again when i would not
event know half of who my closest friends "are going to be."
and the other half i was hardly on first name basis with.
so i guess this first post is just saying thank you for being one of those.
who have been willing to get closer or stickin with me through thick and thin
this past year. i very much appreciate it!