Lonely

Today i realized how lonely i am.
so i kinda like this one girl butttt there is no way in hell
that anything would happen because she is madly in love with her
boyfriend and i think i had a chance with her but i totally lost
it and i still feel like we have that chemistry and i think the word would
be passion between us but her friends have told me that i should just
forget about it. but is it so weird that i cant? i have never had feelings
like this for someone else so i mean i know what the right thing to do is.
which be to back off but there is something about her that keeps drawing me in.
and i mean if she was so in love with her boyfriend then she should be the one
to stop this nonsense. i feel like i am being played so hard yet i cant stop falling
for the same trick. i know this sounds like a stupid suggestion but i need some
sort of rebound from this to get my mind off of her because im not doing anything
good for my self by waiting for her.

So that is what has basically been going on through my mind for the past month!
this really needs to stop i just feel as if im being used as a boyfriend
figure and i dont get any of the perks. LAMEEEEEE! ahhh you have no
idea how infurriated i am about this topic. alsooo this is a very stickky situation.

On a lighter note i owned auditions today for night must fall.
and i am still stuck between wanting to do it and not.
and if i dont make it whatever, but i wont lie i will be a little
surprised. i feel like i deserved it today.
and im not trying to be an arrogant cocky dick.
i really owned ass.
but if i dont get picked it will most likely be because of seniority.