So, Junior year started.
I feel like everyone has changed.
I'm stuck in neutral, and don't really have a best friend anymore.
Wah! this sucks and if you know me in the slightest I hate making new friends!
More than anything! I guess I'm just weird because I have never strived to be
popular, and this is the second time someone has put me on the backburner for
popularity. Maybe things will go back to normal? Or maybe this is just for the best.
Who knows.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Scratch That
I do understand now.
I am stupid for letting you drag me on this rollercoaster for the past 9 months.
I am stupid for expecting anything.
I am stupid for not moving on.
I am stupid for hiding my feelings this long.
I am stupid for falling for you.
As stupid as I say I am. I don't feel like I am the problem in this situation.
I feel like you are being insensitive and are expecting a pat on the bat for
something I am not okay with. I think we are to much alike for our own good.
You have definitely changed. I'm not saying I haven't changed. It's just that
I am stuck in December. And like they say, It can't be Winter forever. :(
I am stupid for letting you drag me on this rollercoaster for the past 9 months.
I am stupid for expecting anything.
I am stupid for not moving on.
I am stupid for hiding my feelings this long.
I am stupid for falling for you.
As stupid as I say I am. I don't feel like I am the problem in this situation.
I feel like you are being insensitive and are expecting a pat on the bat for
something I am not okay with. I think we are to much alike for our own good.
You have definitely changed. I'm not saying I haven't changed. It's just that
I am stuck in December. And like they say, It can't be Winter forever. :(
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Long Since Due
Watching the shows Weeds made me realize that life only gets harder the older you get.
As I was driving home tonight, this realization seemed so unbelievable that it felt almost surreal.
But somehow the love of my life (Mary Louise Parker) always manages to get herself
out the huge mess she was in.
I don't think I put myself in this mess.
Well atleast i wouldn't intentionally throw myself into this.
I am trying to analyze the series of events that have led me to this
point and I am still baffled. How the FUCK did I get here?
I don't understand. Maybe I won't ever understand?
Who knows. I need something to distract me. Like speech.
School can't come any sooner.
"Save me. I'm Lost. Oh lord I have been waiting for you."
"The youth are starting to change. Are you starting to change?"
"I use to believe people could change, like the seasons. But now I know it can't be Winter
forever."
"I took up smoking to impress you. Now you wont email me back and I don't look
so cool anymore."
"You know that night by the lake we spent talking about who we could see me dating?
Well the only person I can see myself dating you."
"Would it be illegal to kill the robbers who stole the video's of my dead fathers voice on them?"
Welp. I have been diggin those quotes for a while now. I wish no one knew about my blog still.
I think I would be more open with what I had to say. I feel like what I write on here is my stuff and its on the internet so obviously anyone can read it if they wish. But sometimes it would be nice to have this private for a few posts.
Shot out to sammi. You are my best friend and I am not just saying this. But I honestly don't know where I would be without you.
As I was driving home tonight, this realization seemed so unbelievable that it felt almost surreal.
But somehow the love of my life (Mary Louise Parker) always manages to get herself
out the huge mess she was in.
I don't think I put myself in this mess.
Well atleast i wouldn't intentionally throw myself into this.
I am trying to analyze the series of events that have led me to this
point and I am still baffled. How the FUCK did I get here?
I don't understand. Maybe I won't ever understand?
Who knows. I need something to distract me. Like speech.
School can't come any sooner.
"Save me. I'm Lost. Oh lord I have been waiting for you."
"The youth are starting to change. Are you starting to change?"
"I use to believe people could change, like the seasons. But now I know it can't be Winter
forever."
"I took up smoking to impress you. Now you wont email me back and I don't look
so cool anymore."
"You know that night by the lake we spent talking about who we could see me dating?
Well the only person I can see myself dating you."
"Would it be illegal to kill the robbers who stole the video's of my dead fathers voice on them?"
Welp. I have been diggin those quotes for a while now. I wish no one knew about my blog still.
I think I would be more open with what I had to say. I feel like what I write on here is my stuff and its on the internet so obviously anyone can read it if they wish. But sometimes it would be nice to have this private for a few posts.
Shot out to sammi. You are my best friend and I am not just saying this. But I honestly don't know where I would be without you.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday Night Fever
Summerr, Please come!! I want you soo freaking bad. This month is going by surprisingly fast which is really unexpected, but i am definitely a fan! I have not posted in so long. So this weekend was just bleh.
On Friday, I was hosting the dance show which was sooo much fun! then I went to taco bell and caught up with the guys and we played ping pong and it was just a normal night. so that was just meh. Then on Saturday I had to go to Little Shop of Horrors in Queen Creek which was AWFUL! but i am sooo glad Emily came with me she seriously made my night worth living! After that I dropped Em off and went to relay for litterally like 5 min. It was cool. Maybe I am not a fan of this weekend because it didn't really consist of anything that I really wanted to do. Also Fajman wants me to drive back out to the god forsaken school known as perry high AGAIN! please kill me right now! I want to tell him no, but it is like an hour and a half drive from his house soo that would be a really big jack ass move of me. On the other hand though I AINT YOO BITCH. FUCK.
Hi. My bestfriend comes home tonight and i miss her soo much! ILOVEYOUSAMMI!!
vote for her oh and for emily for VP!
On Friday, I was hosting the dance show which was sooo much fun! then I went to taco bell and caught up with the guys and we played ping pong and it was just a normal night. so that was just meh. Then on Saturday I had to go to Little Shop of Horrors in Queen Creek which was AWFUL! but i am sooo glad Emily came with me she seriously made my night worth living! After that I dropped Em off and went to relay for litterally like 5 min. It was cool. Maybe I am not a fan of this weekend because it didn't really consist of anything that I really wanted to do. Also Fajman wants me to drive back out to the god forsaken school known as perry high AGAIN! please kill me right now! I want to tell him no, but it is like an hour and a half drive from his house soo that would be a really big jack ass move of me. On the other hand though I AINT YOO BITCH. FUCK.
Hi. My bestfriend comes home tonight and i miss her soo much! ILOVEYOUSAMMI!!
vote for her oh and for emily for VP!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
See Ya Santa
So this past weekend I said good-bye to my character for the whole year, Santa. I know that sounds really stupid but I did and I am sorta sad. Not only did I say good-bye to him I said good-bye to Mrs. Claus and all my senior speech friends. I am nervous as to how my team and the Arizona circuit will be next year. It will definitely be different. At awards I definitely lost my shit. I don't even know what happened but they announced oratory and I just started crying. I am crazy!
Now that speech is over, I literally have nothing to do. Not that I did a lot this past month in speech but I could atleast go to Domo's room and hang out there. Now, there is nothing for me to do except go home. WEIRD. I am so over school by the way. The weather is changing and getting more hot. My mind thinks that it is summer and I am basically done with school work. Also I hate french. God it is the worst class EVER. I am so dead in that period and everyone is so damn perky, kill me.
Another thing, I am starting to think that everyone in your life is definitely there for a reason.
Random I dont feel like explaining who I feel is the person who made me feel this but yeah.
BYE. sorry for the lamest post ever. I suck.
Now that speech is over, I literally have nothing to do. Not that I did a lot this past month in speech but I could atleast go to Domo's room and hang out there. Now, there is nothing for me to do except go home. WEIRD. I am so over school by the way. The weather is changing and getting more hot. My mind thinks that it is summer and I am basically done with school work. Also I hate french. God it is the worst class EVER. I am so dead in that period and everyone is so damn perky, kill me.
Another thing, I am starting to think that everyone in your life is definitely there for a reason.
Random I dont feel like explaining who I feel is the person who made me feel this but yeah.
BYE. sorry for the lamest post ever. I suck.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Epic.
So this past week has been sorta epic. My team won state for the 6th consecutive time. It was so amazing we beat the new AIA rule so we showed Arizona that we kill no matter what. I was also in the humor final. That was crazy. I think if I work I can truly accomplish what i want. Scratch that. I Know I can. On the same note, sorta, Kudos to Lauren Miller for beating the shit out of Ashley Kessler, Whose goal for the year was not to win state, but to beat Lauren Miller at state, GOT EM!! Ahhh such a good weekend! This week started with me procrastinating school work and I can assure you it will end like that. I have checked out of school and student council and I think a lot of people have noticed. Whatever. I feel bad for not caring but I just don't care anymore.
Something I noticed tonight while at the dance show, which I dont know why I was thinking of this at the dance show, is that I wish I could go back to November. I believe that was the Happiest I have been Throughout all of highschool! I dont know why but things just seemed perfect around that time.
On a completely different note, This wind storm is CRAZY. I can't recall the last time the wind has been this strong In Phx. I had to help jumpstart sammis car tonight in the wind and then drop people and things off it was intense. Also the last assembly of the year is tomorrow and it is gonna be out of this world!! it should be really legit!
Something I noticed tonight while at the dance show, which I dont know why I was thinking of this at the dance show, is that I wish I could go back to November. I believe that was the Happiest I have been Throughout all of highschool! I dont know why but things just seemed perfect around that time.
On a completely different note, This wind storm is CRAZY. I can't recall the last time the wind has been this strong In Phx. I had to help jumpstart sammis car tonight in the wind and then drop people and things off it was intense. Also the last assembly of the year is tomorrow and it is gonna be out of this world!! it should be really legit!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Inspired
Today I feel like I have been really inspired from some amazing people. I was talking to Sammi tonight and we both agreed that there is seriously nothing more refreshing than to watch someone do what they have a passion for. Whether it maybe someone acting, a lead guitarist or even a teacher doing what they love; It is truly an amazing thing to watch. I really hope my life will revolve around what I am most passionate about. I also hope that it is obvious how passionate I am about what I do.
On another note, I feel like I am growing into my own person. It seems that I am almost done searching for who I am. Not gonna lie, I think it has to do with a desicion that I just recently made. It was a very small desicion, but I think that it shows what kind of person I am and what I want to do with the last two years of my high school career. And I know it sounds like I am giving up but at the same time I am planning on commiting myself to another thing. Ahh well, what a strange day I had. I think it is time for me to start my homework:)
On another note, I feel like I am growing into my own person. It seems that I am almost done searching for who I am. Not gonna lie, I think it has to do with a desicion that I just recently made. It was a very small desicion, but I think that it shows what kind of person I am and what I want to do with the last two years of my high school career. And I know it sounds like I am giving up but at the same time I am planning on commiting myself to another thing. Ahh well, what a strange day I had. I think it is time for me to start my homework:)
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